I remembered going back in and up to my room. I called out "Night-night" to Momma and Poppa who were already in their room across the hall from mine. Momma opened their door and hugged me good-night and Poppa called out "Night-night, baby." But neither of them came over to read me a story, so I crawled up on my window seat to wait. I must have fallen asleep among the cushions on the window seat, because later Poppa came in and moved me over to my bed. On that spring night, when Poppa left my room, he didn't close my door all the way and soon I heard loud voices from Momma and Poppa's room-Momma's voice loud and weepy and Poppa's voice gruff and almost weepy, too.

I heard Momma almost yell out, "Aren't you a little bit happy I'm pregnant?"

And Poppa answered as though his teeth were clenched. "I would be if I thought the baby was mine."

My heart jumped. We were having a baby at our house? I'd been wanting a brother-sister for a long time but didn't say much about it because Momma always looked sad when I mentioned babies.

There was dead silence across the hall for a while, then Momma's voice said in a wail, "You know a woman can get pregnant just by messing around like we do. This has to be your baby, Ross."

My heart felt like it stopped when Poppa answered her. "I told you when Maybe Rose was born that I'd never put you through something so painful for you again and I couldn't do that except by not doing it all the way with you so how do you expect me to believe this is my baby? And baloney about that messing around stuff."

Momma didn't answer. She just gave a loud sob.

Poppa went on. "And sometimes I even wonder if Maybe is really mine."

Momma screamed. But Poppa continued. "Look at all that red curly hair. You don't see any curly red hair on my head, do you? Or yours either, for that matter."

It was amazing how on this day in June I could remember almost word for word what I heard on that spring night. After Poppa said those words, instead of feeling like my heart stopped, it felt like it was pounding against my chest so hard I could hardly breathe. I couldn't listen any more, but I couldn't not listen, either. I slid out of bed and tiptoed over to my door and sat down on the floor with my knees up to my chin and my arms holding my legs tightly. I rocked back and forth and wanted to digest what I had just heard, but I had to go on listening for fear I might miss something else dreadful being said.

After a moment, Momma said, in a loud stern voice, "Ross Tucker, you turn my arms loose. You're hurting me."

Poppa's voice changed. When he spoke, his voice was so soft that I could hardly make out the words. "Oh, Rosie, I am so very sorry. I love you so much that thinking about you with another man makes me crazy. Please forgive me. And what if having this baby makes you as sick as having the first one did? What'll we do then? Will you have to spend another month in the hospital getting over it?"

Momma answered at once. "With a different doctor this time, things will be better, you'll see. Old Doctor Finley must have botched things up that time. Willy Sherman will take care of me and this baby, I just know."

Then Poppa said something strange. "Okay, sweetie, since I can't get you pregnant now, let's see what we've been missing all these years."

Momma gave sort of a strangled moan and things got quiet across the hall.

I remember I had nightmares all that spring night.

What I don't remember is much about what went on the rest of that June day when my Momma was so sick and my Poppa was so worried. While Poppa and I were eating supper, Lizzie took care of Momma and then finished up her day's work and went home. That night I didn't go in to tell Momma good-night because I was afraid I'd wake her up. I put on my nightie and went to bed without changing Daisy into her pajamas. Somehow I just didn't care what Daisy was wearing. And I didn't do any more remembering that night. I heard Poppa come out of his and Momma's bedroom and walk slowly down the hall to the other bedroom on that floor, and I pulled my sheet up around my ears and turned on my side telling myself to go to sleep.

And I never saw my Momma again.